She wants to be in a relationship with someone who has worked through his past baggage and lives a life with few regrets. She was feeling very drained by Abe’s “shoulds” and regrets.
Red flag #2: Arielle is religious, and although Abe shared her religious affiliation, when she asked about his level of observance, he said he was agnostic.
You know, that hormone that makes you a little stupid and puts a blindfold over your gut feelings about him?
This is the hormone that has you shove all the negative character traits he displays under the proverbial rug.
Here’s what she picked up: Red flag #1: He used the word “should” a lot. They both had kids with behavior problems, and that caused the downfall of both marriages.” “I should never have taken this job with the government.” Should, should, should!
Arielle is looking for a positive, forward-thinking man. She is proud of the inner work she’s done, and wants a man who energizes her, not someone who drains her.
She told him it was nice talking, but felt they were not a good match. Here’s the email he sent a few minutes later: My parents taught us by living the golden rule of kindness and care for others.
He thanked her for the conversation, wished her good luck, and hung up. I doubt yours and your kin live the spirit of true religion.